Looking beyond behaviour to understand need
Children and young people don't always have the words to explain what they need, how they feel or what they are experiencing. Sometimes, what adults notice first is behaviour.
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Understanding Me gives children a structured and accessible way to share their perspective. Rather than making assumptions about what a behaviour means, the cards help adults listen to the child, explore areas of unmet need and understand what the child may need from the people, environments and systems around them, so that support can be responsive, compassionate and genuinely child-centred.
A practical pupil voice resource for schools
- 56 child-friendly statement cards
- Designed for children and young people aged 8–16
- For SENCos, teachers, pastoral staff, ELSAs, Educational Psychologists and other educational professionals
- Supports pupil voice, consultation, individual support planning and needs-led intervention
- Seven psychology-informed areas to explore
- Linked practical support strategies
The Understanding Me Framework
Notice patterns across the seven areas and explore what feels most important to the child, alongside the wider factors influencing their experience.
Work together to identify what might help, including changes to the environment, relationships, expectations, provision and support.
Move from insight to practical action with suggested strategies designed to help staff respond effectively and compassionately.
Complete the card sort with the child or young person, giving them a structured way to share their needs, feelings and experiences.
1. Listen
2. Explore patterns
3. Support
A simple process that leads to meaningful support
Reviews
★★★★★
"The cards have been a game-changer for our pastoral team. They provide such a clear, structured way to listen to our pupils and truly understand what they need."
SENCo, Primary School
★★★★★
"I found the Understanding Me cards to be an excellent resource for gathering pupil voice. I really appreciated how thoughtfully they are and how grounded in psychology they feel."
Dr Charlotte Kelishadi, Educational Psychologist
★★★★★
"Beautifully designed and evidence-based. These cards have helped us create support plans that are child-centred and very effective."
Headteacher
About the CreatorÂ
Dr Ali D’Amario is an experienced Educational & Child Psychologist and author, with titles including The School Mental Health Response Handbook (D'Amario & Rae, 2025). Ali is passionate about trauma-informed practice and supporting young people's emotional well-being and mental health.
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