Who are the cards for?
Designed for adults working alongside children and young people aged 8-16 in educational settings.
SENCos/ Teachers/ Mental Health Leads
Specialist Teachers
Educational Psychologists
Emotional Literacy Support Assistants (ELSAs)
Education Mental Health Practitioners (EMHPs)
What will they help me to do?
Using the ‘Understanding Me’ Cards enables staff/ professionals to:
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Hear directly from children and young people about their needs, feelings and experiences
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Notice patterns across seven psychology-informed areas of need and experience
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Explore needs or difficulties that may otherwise be hard to communicate
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Reduce assumptions and misinterpretation about what behaviour might mean
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Bring the child's perspective into collaborative formulation and planning
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Develop meaningful, individualised support plans, including ISPs, EHCPs and EP recommendations
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Consider changes to environments, relationships, expectations and support
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Strengthen relationships and trust between children and the adults supporting them
The seven areas
Autonomy & Independence
Exploring experiences of choice, agency, control and growing independence.
Learning, Language & Confidence
Exploring learning, language and communication, executive skills, and beliefs about capability.
Self-esteem & Identity
Exploring how children see, understand and feel about themselves and who they are.
Relationships & Belonging
Exploring connection, acceptance, relationships and a sense of belonging.
Sensory Differences
Exploring individual differences in how sensory information is experienced and responded to.
Body & Health
Exploring physical experiences and factors that can influence wellbeing, participation and capacity.
Safety & Regulation
Exploring felt safety, stress, emotions, regulation and the support children may need to manage these.
✅ Needs‑led, not behaviour‑led - Keeps the focus on understanding what a child may need from the adults, environments and systems around them, rather than changing behaviour in isolation.
✅ Neurodivergence‑affirming & trauma‑informed- sensitively phrased statements to incorporate a wide range of needs, including those commonly experienced by pupils with Autism, ADHD, or who have experienced trauma.
✅ Supports early intervention - spot needs early, before they are communicated through escalation in behaviour.
✅ Links to clear strategies - practical, evidence‑informed support ideas matched to every need area.
Why choose Understanding Me?
A structured, compassionate way to listen to children and understand what they may need from us.
✅ Developed by an Educational and Child Psychologist, drawing together psychological theory, research and professional practice across seven areas of need and experience.
✅ Thoughtfully designed cards that are inclusive, and carefully designed to reflect thoughts and emotions in a safe, non-shaming, non-judgemental way.
✅A solution-focused 'looking forward' card helps the conversation move towards what the child would like to be different and what support might help.
✅ Can be used across primary and secondary schools. Ideal for ages 8-16.
About the Creator
Dr Ali D’Amario is an experienced Educational & Child Psychologist and author, with titles including The School Mental Health Response Handbook (D'Amario & Rae, 2025). Through her work with children, families and schools, Ali saw how easily conversations about behaviour could become focused on what adults could observe, while children themselves sometimes struggled to explain what they were experiencing or what they needed. Understanding Me grew from a desire to create a practical, psychologically informed way to support those conversations, keeping the child's voice at the centre and helping adults respond with curiosity and compassion.